A Lizard And A Cowboy Walk Into A Bar

Author's Note

Rating: T | Relationship Focus: Syzoth (Reptile) & Cassie Cage; Platonic | Word Count: 3,600 | Originally Posted: June 6th, 2022 | Content Warnings: Alchohol Use, Bad Flirting | Includes original notes for complete experience.

Part One: It's A Boy's Night Out (and Syzoth's the Belle of the Ball)

Running a sharp-nailed hand through the unfamiliar short, dark hair atop his head, Syzoth admired his disguise. It'd been a while since the spy needed to go anywhere looking like the perfect picture of a human- or rather, an Outworlder. His eyes retained a semblance of their reptilian nature that would likely be incredibly unsettling to the majority of the humans of Earthrealm, but aside from them he looked the part of a healthy- likely fairly handsome- young human man. It had been a long time since the saurian felt the need to take on such an appearance, one usually reserved for trickery and deceit in the pursuit of information, and he felt strange seeing himself this way.

Well, it had to be done if he were to take part in Erron's plans. He'd even bathed and coated his skin in sweet smelling oils to cover the telltale musk that marked him as Zaterran. At this point, Syzoth didn't even know why he agreed to the mercenary's request that he join him for drinks in Earthrealm, if that's even what he actually meant. Alternatively, this could be a ploy for the idiot to sell Syzoth to some rich fool who, for one reason or another, wanted a raptor in his possession. Not that such a fool would live long enough to fulfill that desire.

Either way, Syzoth had agreed to join Erron in whatever he had planned, and thus had no intention of ruining it by causing a scene with his appearance. It wasn't his fault that humans were unable to appreciate the glossy sheen of his scaly skin or the sharp points of his teeth. Among his kind, he was naturally good looking. A while later he met the gunslinger near his quarters dressed in what he felt to be sufficiently casual attire. Though with a quick glance at the 'wannabe cowboy' (as he'd heard the annoying father-daughter pair of earthrealm clowns once call him) dressed down, he began to regret the belts and beads that adorned his layered tunic. Erron clicked his tongue, sounding somewhere between irritated and surprised as he ushered the reptilian in.

Fancy digs you got there, but how 'bout you borrow something a bit more inconspicuous, he said, more a statement than an offer as he rifled through a chest at the foot of his bed. Syzoth allowed garments to be pushed at him, which he changed into promptly as his co-worker grumbled under his breath and looked out the window.

I still have no idea what you're planning, Erron, Syzoth began as he straightened out the plain clothing he'd been handed, nor do I know why you picked me of all beings to go with you.

I told you, salamander, we're going out for drinks in Earthrealm. It's relatively peaceful between here and there at the moment and, while I may not give a shit about my birth realm, the one thing they know how to do is brew a strong drink that doesn't taste like stale piss, he wrinkled his nose in disgust, highlighting how truly strange it was to see him without that leather muzzle of his, and I ain't got many choices, now do I? If you weren't aware, the majority of our co-workers are the type to cause trouble on purpose. Pretty sure you're the only one who knows how to blend in.

I see, he responded. The human could still be lying, but the endeavor could be fun regardless. The tense peace and negotiations between Outworld and Earthrealm left the spy bored. No one to fight, no information to gather. It left him restless. So yes, he would follow the greedy human wherever he decided to take him and deal with things as they came up.

Traveling between realms caused Syzoth's stomach to clench, his head to swim with nausea. Erron handed their papers to the special forces officer who stood by the portal gate and, with a tired expression, cross checked the information. They were allowed through without complaint or suspicion and allowed to freely roam the surrounding area. Before they crossed over, the gunslinger had explained that the area surrounding the portal was heavily populated with Outworld refugees, and so their appearance in the bar wouldn't turn heads. There were also Special Forces soldiers patrolling the area, a sight that allowed the zaterran to trust his ally a bit more as they made their way to a building that showed a hint of damage from years past, but looked well kept otherwise.

Sitting at a corner table, their backs to the wall, Erron ordered drinks for them both, as he knew more about the realm's booze, and after draining a few, wandered over to a board near the back where people threw darts. This solitude suited the raptor and allowed him the time to savor his drink. As his ally had said before, Earthrealm knew how to create a good tasting brew. The hint of buzz from the drink that coursed through his cold blood was pleasant, and Syzoth relaxed into his chair contently. Unfortunately, his slice of solitude was not to last.

* * *

On one of their rare evenings off duty, Cassie had decided to take Jacqui to the nearest bar to the Special Forces base. It was a rather cozy space, one they went to pretty frequently on their girl's nights, and they were pretty familiar with the other patrons. Primarily Outworlders who'd emigrated during Mileena's rebellion and the remaining tension after Shinnok's defeat, though there were also soldiers and human civilians among them. And, unfortunately for Cass, very few of them piqued her interest, and the ones that did were otherwise unavailable.

Her last relationship had ended pretty sourly- he'd been a member of another team in the Special Forces that Takeda had introduced her to. A nice guy- and easy on the eyes to boot, but couldn't handle the idea that they'd have to do the long distance thing, apparently. She gave him the warning on their first date, he'd agreed anyway. There was no need to get pissy about it, in her opinion. So now she was back to scoping out her options while Jacqui tried to convince her that she could stay single. Like hell she would do that. After a moment performing reconnaissance on the bar, she identified her target. Dark-haired guy, around six foot tall. Eyes that looked impossibly green even from this distance. Tan skin made darker in contrast with his white t-shirt. There was some sort of gold choker around his neck, with a stone that matched his eyes. He observed the other patrons with a neutral, far off gaze. Bingo.

She placed her empty glass down a little harder than intended and her best friend stopped talking for a moment. The other young woman followed her line of sight to the hunk and she sighed, resting her chin on her palm, brows furrowed in exasperation.

C'mon, Cass, she complained, this is supposed to be our Girl's Night, not 'Cassie Picks Up Random Guys As A Challenge' Night.

Yeah, but how often do I get a chance to give it a try? Ten minutes. If I can't get his number in ten minutes, I'll come back and stop looking for a man.

If you don't?

I'll you, Takeda, and Jin pick a sappy romcom for our next team movie night, the blonde smirked, wrinkling her nose in disgust st the thought, even though horror movies are much more interesting. Her friend snorted and let her go with an eyeroll before pulling her cell out to text the aforementioned sappy romcom-loving boyfriend. And so the huntress stalked her prey, striding over to the dimly lit corner of the bar with confidence. As she drew closer, she could see that his eyes had something else special about them aside from their color. The cat-like vertical pupils were dilated as his gaze lazily scanned the room. The outworlder didn't seem to notice her until just before she placed her hands on the table, leaning forward a bit and giving him a winning Cage Smile.

Hey handsome, she started, tilting her head, the name's Cassie, but you can call me anytime.

Part Two: In Wine, There Is Truth (Well, At The Very Least, Booze Gives You Loose Lips)

Syzoth nearly leapt from his seat at the intrusion of this human woman on his personal space. She spoke at him, though he couldn't focus on what she was saying, too focused on just who had interrupted his moment of tranquility. Cassandra Cage, one of the brats who escorted her home realm's diplomats around the court of the Khan. He'd fought two of them years before, and thus preferred to avoid them if at all possible. It had nothing to do with a bruised ego, he told himself. He simply had better things to do in service to Kotal Kahn.

Syzoth nearly leapt from his seat at the intrusion of this human woman on his personal space. She spoke at him, though he couldn't focus on what she was saying, too focused on just who had interrupted his moment of tranquility. Cassandra Cage, one of the brats who escorted her home realm's diplomats around the court of the Khan. He'd fought two of them years before, and thus preferred to avoid them if at all possible. It had nothing to do with a bruised ego, he told himself. He simply had better things to do in service to Kotal Kahn.

Cassandra Cage, he acknowledged, narrowing his eyes at her slightly. She looked surprised briefly, but quickly regained her composure. She shifted her posture a bit, as though she wanted him to get an eyeful of the cleft of her mammaries where it peeked from the collar of her shirt.

Wow, my reputation precedes me, she all but purred, all good things, I hope. Let me start over. Kiss me if I'm wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right? He tensed up at her words. What was she playing at? Seduction? Cruelty? A bizarre mating ritual of the intoxicated human? He bristled at the idea of either.

You not only mock me, but the demise of my people? he growled, voice slipping into it's usual low guttural. He'd promised not to make a scene, but if she insisted on continuing this course of action, he may have to break it. The woman raised her hands defensively.

What? No, no, no, I was just trying to flirt! Damn, babe, didn't know you were so serious about lizards- she cut herself off, eyes widening with sudden realization as she searched his eyes, ho-ly shit! Reptile?! Anger still boiled within him as she gasped.

I have a name, human. Had he been out of this disguise, he'd have hissed, but this form's mouth caused it to come out breathy and weak.

Well, yeah, no shit, I guess, but what the hell are you doing here? And why do you look like.. she gestured at him vaguely. Before he could answer, heavy footsteps approached and both of them looked up to see Erron Black returning to the table, glass of whiskey in hand.

Evenin' Seargent Cage, he greeted the woman politely, I'm hopin' my compatriot here isn't causin' a fuss.

You can just call me, Cassie, right now, Black, she sighed, and nah. Just- what are you two doing here?

S'not a crime to cross the realms during peacetime, now is it?

Only if you haven't got the proper paperwork.

Which we do, Ma'am, he snapped back. The saurian half expected her to demand to see their papers, though she didn't in the end. She nodded, instead.

Well, then, I guess I should let you enjoy the rest of your evening.

Right, mumbled the merc as he cast a longing glance at the dartboard. He'd been having a great time showing off his skill with projectiles to the other patrons, who began to turn their attention to Syzoth's corner. Erron left the two of them to rejoin the onlookers while the other human took out her cellphone to send a text, humming absentmindedly.

Right, so, you didn't explain how you went from looking like the creature from the Black Lagoon to looking like a magazine coverboy, she stated. Syzoth brought a sharp nailed hand up to rest on the gold collar around his neck. To be entirely honest, he hated wearing it. Hated denying his species, hated looking the part of his people's conquerors. He frowned, while she made a small 'oh' of understanding. She took a seat across from him and shifted awkwardly. When he finished the last drops of his beverage, she cleared her throat, If you'd like, I could get you another. She took his silence as agreement and left to get a second tall glass of booze for him. He took it without comment.

Cassandra Cage looked at him with a puzzled expression as he sipped strong drink from his glass. Part of him was irritated by her continued presence and wished no more than to snarl at her or spit in her face, but another part- one that was growing louder by the moment- was pleased by the company. It was rare that anyone remained in Syzoth's presence willingly and without complaint of smells. Turning to her, he narrowed his eyes, the pupils constricting to tight slits.

What is it, Cage? he huffed.

I was just thinking- dangerous, I know, she faltered for a moment, reaching up to rub the back of her neck, but you mentioned your people and I guess I just never realized that you were the only one. It's-

I do not care for your pity. My people will flourish once again, and none will stand in my way until it is so! He'd failed to do so in the past, but no more! And he certainly wouldn't tolerate being talked down to by someone who knew nothing about it.

I'll take your word for it, she said, resting her chin in the palm of her hand, but I don't pity you, dude. I'm curious. Been told it's one of my worst traits, right up there with my sense of humor, but I kinda want to know more, y'know, about your people? Hell, I don't even know what you are. No, he didn't know. No other beings had ever wanted to know about the saurians more than they had to. It had to be a trick, some way to lead him into a trap or a way to make fun at his expense, but the need for warmth and companionship that crept into the fuzziness in his blood won out. He thought for a moment.

I am a Raptor, the last Saurian of Zaterra, a realm long conquered by Outworld. It has been centuries since I have seen another of my kind, these were the words he started with, though others tumbled out in a torrent soon after. The human- Cassie seemed to be a surprisingly good listener, despite her obnoxious attempts at humor. She asked questions about what Zaterra had looked like, his favorite spots in that once flourishing rainforest, and what his youth had been like. The topic brought back good memories, only amplified by his intoxicated state, up until she asked about his lost love.

So, you had a girlfriend back then? she asked for clarification.

More what you would call a wife. She was my mate, but we never managed to raise a brood together. She had laid a clutch of eggs not long before the war, and they were all... it all happened too quickly and they- he cut himself off when he felt hot moisture run from his eyes. The disguise could cry, something he never knew possible. Stupid soft flesh biology. A salty droplet rolled down to the corner of his mouth. Cassie shot him a solemn look; he nearly snapped at her with venomous words before she reached out to lay her fingers on his wrist, fingertips resting gently where the bone jut out.

Man, never clocked you as a sad drunk, she said, ruining the moment. Still, he held back any of the cruel words he wished to sling, too affected by another being's warm, kind touch. It had been sorely missed.

Saurians are a social people and I have been alone for a very, very long time. I have earned the right to be a sad drunk, as you call it.

Yeah, guess that would do it. But wait, what about Kotal's other enforcers? I mean, Fugly seems friendly when he's not being a jerkass cowboy wannabe. He invited you out to drink, at least, she stated.

That, he slurred, iss different. We work together. Neither of us would call the other friend.

Damn. I'd offer to send you a request on Friendships, but I don't see that working out, she hummed thoughtfully, maybe we could hang out when my team is Outworld-side?

And what makess you think I want your friendship? Syzoth frowned. The blonde smirked arrogantly as she spoke her next words.

Cause I'm pretty damn cool, if I do say so myself. More importantly, I'd rather not have your loneliness on my mind all the time. Show me the great many other potential friends you have and I'll piss off for good. Won't bother you again, scouts honor, she laid a hand on her chest, the other raised up in a gesture the saurian didn't quite understand as he wracked his brain for a proper answer. Yet again, that natural desire for company won out and he found his shoulders slumped in defeat. Her cock-sure grin returned in response.

Well, I'd call that settled, lizard man. Huh, just in time too. She looked up as Erron approached, an egotistical swagger in his step.

They didn't know what hit 'em. These drunks couldn't hit the broad side of a barn. Bullseye took hardly any effort for me, though, he boasted.

Bet I'd kick your ass at darts. You up to the challenge, Calamity Jane? She snorted.

Much as I'd like to wipe the floor with you, missy, I figure it's time for frog legs and me to be headin' out, he glared at her, Boss was expecting us back before tomorrow, and I'd rather not piss off the man who signs my paychecks. The reptilian stood up to leave, losing his balance as soon as he did. Cassie caught him by the elbow to prevent an unfortunate accident.

Mind if walk the two of you to the portal? I'm headed for the base anyway.

Erron nodded, and she threw Syzoth's arm around her shoulder. He protested drunkenly, doing little more than attempt to squirm out of her grip to the floor below. She chuckled at him- the nerve!- Slinging the limb back over her strong shoulders. He was half-carried to the portal, barely listening to the two humans' back and forth quips- just enough to be certain that they carried no real anger. Warmth was what he was more focused on, anyway. His cold-blooded anatomy craved the sensation that was beginning to overwhelm him. The blood in his veins transported the dull, warm buzz of liquor to his brain as he leaned on a hard, warm form. Even his chest bloomed with a long forgotten feeling a warmth from the carefree days he spent among his kin. In the dim lighting, a haze at the edges of his mind, in a body that is not quite his own, he allows himself this moment of warmth and vulnerability.

It was over too soon, and he was coached into standing on his own two feet when the arrive at the gate. The gunslinger struted ahead toward the portal guard, papers ready in his fist. The other human shifted her weight on the balls of her feet, in a conflicted sort of way. She cleared her throat uncertainly, grabbing the zaterran's attention.

So, you mentioned that you have a name other than, uh, Reptile and, like, no shit. I figured your mom didn't give you a stupid name like that- s'like naming a baby boy Guy y'know? But- she rubbed her elbow, what even is your name? I've never heard anyone call you by a proper name.

Syzoth. That has been my name since I wass a hatchling, he finally says. She breaks into a grin and he prepares himself for a grating comment to pass between the idiot's teeth.

For real? Syzoth? You all know how to name people. That's fucking badass. Bet if I was given a name like that I'd kick more ass than I do already, eh?

He huffed, mumbling something too quiet to hear, before he turned to follow his coworker through the portal that had opened up. He only managed to get a few steps away from the blonde before she shouted back at him.

Hey! Syzoth! I'm gonna hold you to hanging out next time I see you, buddy, she told him with a wave. He returns it, but just barely as he passed through the glimmering portal. Cassie smiled to herself, the fished her phone from her pocket and tapping out a quick text to Jacqui. Made a new friend tonight, more deets to come. She giggled a bit before turning on her heel toward the barracks, beginning her mental preparations for the following night's inevitable romcom marathon as she walks. She may have been the one to pick the terms of that arrangement, but if the boys picked The Notebook again she might have to commit violence on the two of them.

* * *

Alone in his quarters, ready to sleep off his drunkenness, Syzoth shifts under the sheets, thinking. About those he'd lost long ago. About his new foray into friendship. About warmth most of all. The past centuries had been cold and lonely, he supposed he had earned some time to bask in the sunlight. Still, he couldn't get ahead of himself. He still had duties, after all. Now, though, he had something to look forward to when the Earthrealm delegates strolled into the palace, rather than hiding in the shadows as he was accustomed. The last Zatarran fell asleep contented for the first night in a long while.